Kind Words?

I work with many adults and children around some of the issues that are preventing them from getting the results they want in their lives. Call the process whatever you like, coaching, therapy, life coaching. Some of my clients are already very successful and on the flip side some of them are really struggling with life. The common theme with pretty much all of my clients is that at some stage they have had an experience of being told something unhelpful at an early age, before they were 7 years old. 

If we believe Morris Massey and his widely accepted theory surrounding human development, up until ~age 7 a child is simply a little sponge like, unconscious mind which is wandering around absorbing and accepting everything around them. This is of course without any of the filters that form once we develop a sense of consciousness post Imprint Period. The interesting thing is that even in adulthood our unconscious minds are still child like and process information in the way a 5, 6 or 7 year old would. 

How many times have you told your child or heard  people telling their children 'white lies' to keep them quiet. You know the type of thing; 'Don't open the cupboard because there is a monster in there'.....'You'll never be able to do X,Y,Z'....  'You're so naughty'. What about during team sports and games at school....You play in goal because you're not good at football, or during music lessons, your really can't sing...you're not good enough.....These are what we could term hypnotic suggestions because at that early age they are going straight into the deeply unconscious where they begin to form and mould personality and behaviour. Many of these suggestions are simply forgotten as a person grows up, or at least a person isn't consciously aware that the suggestion is still there and running at an unconscious level affecting a persons confidence or other abilities. 

Clients can take a long time to get rid of some of this 'stuff' and that is only the ones that ever ask for help. Wouldn't it be better simply to choose to use supportive behaviours and language with children and vulnerable adults to save having to undo things in the future?

Remember everything you say to an infant is accepted uncritically as a suggestion. Choose your words wisely!